The other night, Sophie was in the bathroom and B went in to check on her. He came out, trying hard not to laugh, and told me I had to go check on her and do so without laughing, which is never a good sign. I opened the door to a sea of white. The child tore off each individual sheet of toilet paper... from a brand new roll! When I asked her what she had done, she replied, "I feeded the floor!" I had to ask her to repeat it since I wasn't quite sure what she had said and she replied with the same matter of fact statement (yes, we need to work on verb tenses).
I admit, I had to work hard at not laughing. Why she felt the bathroom floor needed feeding is beyond me. Apparently it needed small bites, too, or she'd have just unrolled the toilet paper (which would have been so much easier to clean up).
I finally mustered up enough wit to be the responsible parent and think rationally about how this can be a learning experience. I made her pay for the toilet paper roll. This probably meant nothing to her, although she was pretty upset about having to get into the piggy bank to give me the money. She did apologize to me for making the mistake of feeding the bathroom floor the entire roll of toilet paper, and she was pretty sad about it.
Of course, I couldn't be too upset with her. I know I did something similar when I was about her age (or a bit younger, I think). Yeah, payback and all, I know...
B went in later and told her that some people don't have toilet paper and they have to use their hands to wipe. The quick witted child quipped back, "Well, some people don't have hands and have to have other people wipe for them!"
She will probably win every argument with that sort of logic.