The Hawaii trip has been moved up to 10/27-11/3 instead of 10/29-11/7. The only bad thing about this is the Florida trip was changed to a short drive to Shreveport (10/25-10/27). This now means I have to figure out a way to get from Shreveport to Hawaii on the 27th. I could fly, but I was originally planning on a nice drive to Shreveport since it's so close. Trying to make travel arrangements for trips like this can be a serious whip.

I mentioned that to a friend and he said, "So is life." I had to agree. My job and my relationship are beating me to death. They don't mix. I love B and I love my job. B is definitely more important to me than my job, although I do need a job of some sort. I'm sure he would much rather I do something that requires me to remain in Dallas. I'm also certain he would rather me have a job that wasn't nearly as stressful, didn't require so many hours of me, and paid me better. I know he wants what's best for me. I just wish these two very important parts of my life worked better together. I know my job frustrates him. I believe it frustrates him more than I do, which isn't easy to do. It quite possibly even frustrates him more than it frustrates me.

*sigh*

I know that other people have problems as well. I'm not the only one struggling between relationship and career. I know I have a wonderful relationship with B and I know I have a great job that I enjoy. I'm just sad they don't work so well together, very sad. I was hoping I'd be able to do this for a year or two, and it's only been six months. The worst part about that is that I didn't even do much traveling the first couple of months. Maybe that spoiled us, giving us different expectations or something. I know there are other people out there without relationships or without good relationships, and there are people out there without jobs or without good jobs, but I have both and can't make them work together nicely.

I'm frustrated with myself for being so naive to think that I could change departments without it affecting my relationship so drastically. I'm frustrated with work for pushing the schedule on me like they do without increasing my pay. I'm frustrated that I can't make my job and my relationship find some common ground. I'm frustrated I can't make B happier and that this is hurting him as much (or more) as it is me. I'm frustrated with the whole lot of it all right now, frustrated beyond belief.

I've just frustrated myself into a depressed funk.